


your eyes hold the depth of the ocean

by chattoyant



Series: Ash and Eiji deserve to be happy [2]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Bad Puns, Beach Episode, Beach Holidays, Beaches, Comedy, Eiji roasting Ash, Fluff, M/M, Romance, ash and eiji being cute, ft. blanca, happy boyfriends, just boys being happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 15:36:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17563223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chattoyant/pseuds/chattoyant
Summary: Maybe he’s only dreaming. Maybe if he opens his eyes again, he’ll see that the angel is gone and realize that nothing so beautiful can possibly by real. But when he does, he sees that Eiji is right beside him, holding his hand tenderly as he soars through the water with unseen wings.Ash never thought of himself as a religious person.And yet, when he sees Eiji right there, shining brighter than the sun itself, it’s hard not to be.(a fic where ash and eiji get the beach fun times they deserve after blanca invites them over to the carribbean)





	your eyes hold the depth of the ocean

**Author's Note:**

> after a while of being lazy, i finally managed to write this :')  
> the beach episode these boys deserved
> 
> this is a continuation to the previous work in the series but this can also serve as a stand alone fic!!!!  
> enjoy!!<3 uwu

“Are you sure you didn’t forget anything?” Eiji asks for what seems to be the tenth time ever since leaving the house.

It’s going to be his first trip ever since he left New York to come live with Eiji and his family in Izumo. It was kind of surreal, almost, to leave the life he left behind and step into a new year with the past trailing far behind him.

Or so he thought.

Two weeks earlier, when he and Eiji were sorting out mail, he found an envelope that stood out starkly among the envelopes labeled in Japanese. Ash picked up the envelope and on it found ‘Sergei Varishikov’ written in Blanca’s familiar looping handwriting on the front.

On the back, Ash’s current address was written below his own name. How Blanca knows this, he will never know. The man himself is basically a mystery. Inside the envelope were two plane tickets to Puerto Rico. One for him and one for Eiji. And their seats were right beside each other too.

“Don’t you think it’s too late to be asking that right now?” Ash leans into his seat as Eiji settles beside him. “We’re five hours away from your house.”

“ _Our_ house,” Eiji corrects him with that sweet little smile that never ceases to melt his heart into an indistinguishable pile of goo.

“Right.” He returns the smile as he places his hand on top of his on the arm rest.

Seventeen hours later, Eiji has to practically drag his log body off his seat when all the passengers have left the plane. When they pass through international arrivals, they see none other than Blanca dressed in a brightly-colored tropical shirt and looking more tan than he remembered as he stands outside the gates.

“Nice to see you again!” Ash grumbles when Blanca claps him on the shoulder a little harder than he liked. “I didn’t think you’d actually go all the way here!”

“If you knew where I lived all along, why didn’t you just go there yourself?” Ash sighs as he rubs his shoulder begrudgingly.

“I can’t possibly leave when there’s so much beauty around me.”

“Still the absolute player, aren’t you?” Ash laughs as he nudges the man on his side with his elbow.

“I guess you could say that,” Blanca chuckles. “Anyway, do you want to get going? My house is just a short drive away.”

“We’re staying at  _your_ place?!”

“Is there a problem with that?”

“It’s just that—“ His face turns red.

Oh no. How else can he possibly get all sweet and cuddly with Eiji if his old mentor is going to look at him judgingly? Not even his gang members saw that side of him that clung to Eiji like a cat that liked to tickle him and make bad puns.

“Don’t worry, I have more room than I need.” Blanca gives him a knowing wink.

 

Blanca’s house is just as he imagined it would be. Not too big and not too small, just enough to fit a few people inside. On a corner, a few Hemingway novels dot the bookshelf along with books about fishing and children’s fairytales. Strangely enough, none of his guns were in sight.

“Mr. Blanca, are you really sure you’re fine with us staying here?” Eiji looks around as he takes in the sight of his surroundings.

“Of course,” he nods. “And you’re more than welcome to stay here, but I only have one guest room, so the two of you will have to share.” He gives Ash a knowing wink.

Ash makes a mental note to himself to thank Blanca later.

“Oh, I…” A faint blush settles on Eiji’s cheeks, curling his lips into a little smile as his eyes dart towards Ash’s. “I don’t really mind.” There was no helping the stupid smile that crept its way on Ash’s face.

“That’s great to hear,” Blanca chuckles. “Anyway, the weather is really great out today. Are you up to go to the beach today?”

“Sounds great!” Eiji says excitedly.

If Ash were to be honest with himself, he’d rather spend the entire day lounging in bed (preferably with Eiji) and taking a nap after that exhaustingly long seventeen-hour flight but if it meant having fun with Eiji, he might as well come along. Ever since living with Eiji, the boy practically can’t stand being apart from him for at least an hour.

As Max once put it, Ash had the brain that thinks like a computer that goes crazy every time Eiji is around. Max couldn’t be any further from the truth.

Ash’s brain s _hort-circuits_ when he so much as even thinks of Eiji. Even more so during that time when they kissed under the fireworks on New Year’s at Izumo. If Shorter were around that time, he’d be teasing Ash mercilessly for it and wouldn’t stop bothering him about it until he gets bored of it.

_Right, Shorter. It’s been two years now since he…_

“Ash?” Eiji snaps him out of his musings when he waves his hand in front of his face. “Are you alright?” He asks him as he buttons his shirt closed, hiding the scars on his torso from view.

Ash feels his heart ache.

“Oh, yeah.” Ash forces a smile on his face despite himself. There are just things he can’t leave behind despite his best efforts at doing so. Of course it wouldn’t be so easy.

“Do you want to get changed now?” Eiji makes a move to smooth the creases on his shirt as he heads to the door.

Despite knowing each other for two years, Ash had never been quite comfortable being completely naked in front of Eiji, nor have they ever done anything that involved being naked. The farthest they’ve ever gone was making out on the couch in their home at Izumo during his birthday. When things were about to stray further from just kissing, Eiji always asked him if he was alright, acted like the responsible adult that he was before things could do even further. And for that, Ash is thankful.

After changing into his swimming trunks and putting on some shorts and a button-up shirt, he slides some flip-flops on his feet.

“You look good,” Eiji says as he stands on his tiptoes and gives him just the hint of a kiss. And immediately, it’s as if all the thoughts that had been haunting his mind melt away.

“You too,” Ash smiles at him before pressing his lips lightly against his cheek.

“Are you lovebirds ready to head out now?” When Blanca peeks his head into the scene, Ash immediately tears himself away from Eiji red-faced.

“Y-Yeah!” Eiji chuckles as a hint of pink dusts his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. Ash always thought Eiji was cutest when he blushed or rather, Eiji is cute all the time period.

 

After a short walk to the beach, Ash and Eiji run off towards the shoreline like dogs released into the wild.

“Wow, it’s so pretty here!” Eiji laughs in awe at the sight of the clear blue water stark against white sand all around him.

Despite growing up in Cape Cod where the beach was just a short drive away, Ash never really got to play around in the water much. The last time he ever did was when he was eight, splashing water at his big brother Griff to wind off after Little League practice. Incidentally, that was also the day before he…

_No, no hold up._

Ash immediately stops that train of thought before it could do as much as sour his mood. He and Eiji went here to have fun. It would only be a waste to have something distant as the past ruin it for him.

“I can really see why you love it here!”

“I know, right?” Blanca lets out a hearty laugh. “And not to mention, the women here are very beautiful too.”

Ash rolls his eyes. “You find any woman beautiful.”

“Consider me guilty.”

“Sergei!” A tan-skinned woman dressed in a strappy bright yellow swimsuit hooks her arm around his.

“Well speak of the devil.” Ash lets out a little snort. “Popular as always with the ladies, huh?”

“Sergei, is this your son? He’s really handsome!” The lady giggles.

“Ah, no, he’s my nephew. He’s spending some time here for summer vacation while school is out.”

“Ah, is that so?” She chuckles behind her hand. “You know, I have a daughter back home that you might be interested in meeting. The two of you might get along really well.”

“Not interested,” he replies curtly with a shrug.

“I’m already with someone.” When he turns his gaze towards Eiji, the look in his eyes soften.

“Right, right, of course someone with your looks is bound to have a lucky girl!” The lady smiles at him. “Anyway Sergei, there’s a new swimsuit shop just nearby. Come take a look with me!”

“Of course.” Despite being popular with women, it never occurred to him that Blanca could be anyone’s sugar daddy. “Anyway, I’m heading out for a bit,” he chuckles as the lady playfully pulls at his arm. “You boys have fun!” And just like that, Blanca disappears off to wherever the lady is dragging him off to.

“Is he always like that?” Eiji asks.

“Oh, yeah,” he snorts. “The guy is a total sucker for women.”

“You really know a lot about Blanca, don’t you?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” he shrugs. “I’ve known him since I was fourteen and yet he’s still as every bit as mysterious as he was then.”

“Say, Ash…” The tone in Eiji’s voice suddenly turns somber.

“Hm?”

“I don’t want to ruin the mood by asking you this, but…” Eiji worries his bottom lip between his teeth, as if hesitating and weighing his words first before speaking. “If Blanca worked for Golzine before…why do you trust him and go all the way here?”

“To be honest, I don’t even know myself,” he chuckles. “Granted, he worked for Dino and helped him bring me back to that bastard’s place, but then…”

Throughout the months he’d been stuck in that horrible place all that ever got him through every single day was the thought of Eiji, and how he’d do anything just if it meant that he would be safe. For Eiji, he would walk through hell and back if he had to.

Ash sighs deeply as if his breath took with it the years of hardship that weighed down his shoulders.

“I can never tell what he’s thinking. I think he left his life behind and settled here to get away from it all and live like everyone else just like I did.”

“I see.” A glint of guilt flashes through his eyes.

“Anyway!” He brings the mood back up before the mood can even sour. “We came here to have fun, didn’t we?”

“Race you to the water,  _onii-chan_!”

“Oh, you’re asking for it.” Eiji’s lips curl into a competitive smirk as he tosses his shirt onto the sand. “I’ll have you know you’re challenging a professional pole vaulter,” he brags smugly. “My legs still have it in them to move really fast.”

“I doubt your old knees can’t even take a swim.” Ash huffs equally as smugly as he takes his shirt off. “Why don’t you sit by the shade and practice on your English while you watch me, huh,  _onii-chan?_ ”

When Eiji grumbles, Ash feels like he’d already won.

“Hah, as if lynxes can even stand the water.” Eiji is cute when he tries to act tough. It only makes him all the more determined to wipe that smug grin off his face when he smothers him with kisses. “What’s the matter, kitty cat? Scared of the water?”

“Scared of the water, huh? I’ll show you who’s scared of the water!”

When Ash makes a run for the water, Eiji follows behind him before plunging in with him. Ash moves his arms and legs in the water, determined to get ahead Eiji. When he looks behind him, he sees that Eiji has fallen behind him struggling to keep up. Once he’s confident that there’s no way Eiji can possibly catch up to him, he slows his pace down, floating himself on the water face-up just to show off.

“What’s the matter,  _onii-chan?_ Your knees getting tired?” He backstrokes himself slowly away from Eiji just to spite him. But just before he can get even more cocky, Eiji zooms past him, splashing water all over the place as he swims ahead of him.

“Whose knees are tired now, huh?!” Eiji fills his cheeks with water before spurting it at Ash’s face just to show him.

“Ew, gross!” Ash immediately swims towards the shore, fearing for his face as Eiji readies his spit-water cannon. When Eiji launches a spit-water missile at him, Ash thankfully evades and gets to dry land where he can run for safety. Just when he thinks he’s safe, Eiji continues to prove him wrong when he shoves his face against the water and fills up again.

“Oh my god, when will you stop?!” Ash screams for dear life as Eiji rises from the water and runs after him with cheeks full off seawater. Even the countless gunfights he’d gone through in New York will never compare to the terror that is Eiji Okumura spurting seawater from his mouth. He prays for God to spare his life, but then God decides to turn a blind eye and leave his prayers unanswered when Eiji catches up to him and spurts water at his face, sending the elusive Ash Lynx tumbling to the ground in defeat.

“Hah! Got you!” Eiji smirks at him smugly as he crosses his arms in victory, looming over him like the evil saltwater-spurting tyrant he is.

“Spare me, please,” Ash groans as he feels his vision blur to white. Is this it? Is this God coming for his soul? “I’ve suffered enough.”

“Hmm, I don’t know.” Eiji raises an eyebrow at him. Evil. “I’d reconsider if you let’s say…” He makes a show of checking his fingernails. “I don’t know, maybe eat the pumpkin pie I made.”

Ash has never felt so afraid in his entire life. His heart sinks to the bottom of his stomach.

“You bought a pie with you to Puerto Rico?!”

“You underestimate me, Ash Lynx,” he scoffs. “I always come prepared.”

“Isn’t there another way?” Ash wipes the water off his face as he wills himself to sit up and look at the evil straight in the eye.

“Absolutely not.” When smirks at him menacingly, he swears he can see the sky around him turn a sinister shade of grey as thunderclouds gather over his head.

Ash swallows the lump in his throat.

This is it. Ash is going to die by the hands of the one he loves the most. What will the guys back at New York say? He can already imagine Alex breaking the news to the others saying,  _“I’m sorry, but the boss passed away after his boyfriend made him eat pumpkin pie. Rest in peace, boss.”_

“A-Alright then.” It took every ounce of willpower in him to submit to the whims of his adorably evil boyfriend. “I’ll eat the pie.”

“Good!” And immediately, Eiji’s evil aura evaporates just as quickly as it had appeared when he wraps his arms around him and gives him a peck on the lips. As if on reflex, Ash immediately kisses him back, tasting the salt on his lips as he does so.

“You taste salty,” Ash chuckles when he pulls away but Eiji pulls him back in to smother his face with kisses instead. “I think you’ve had too much salt lately.”

“Well, maybe I have been putting my mouth on something salty.” Eiji wiggles an eyebrow suggestively as his lips curl into a smirk.

“No you have not!” Ash feels himself burn red to his shoulders as he pushes Eiji’s face away. He can’t believe it. Spending time in New York has turned Eiji into even more of a potty-mouth. First, he wanted to see his dick after Ash told him jokingly about how his drapes match the carpet and now this.

Ash huffs. “I think you can successfully publish a book about dick jokes and have it become a best-seller.”

“Hmm…I don’t know.” Eiji makes a show of rubbing his chin as if he’s deep in thought. “I don’t think the book will be any good when your wiener itself is a joke.”

Ash had never felt a burn so severe his entire life.

“God, we haven’t even done anything yet and you’re already like this.”

“We don’t have to.” The look in his eyes are tender as he smiles at him warmly. “Being with you like this is already more than enough for me.”

“ _Onii-chan,_ you’re such a tease.” There’s no helping the stupid smile that creeps its way up his face when he keeps on being reminded of how incredibly lucky he is to have someone as Eiji in his life.

“I meant what I said,” Eiji grins at him as he helps him up. “Come on, let’s get something sweet to eat. We’ll get back to playing later.”

Ash thinks nothing else can possibly be sweeter than Eiji himself. Desserts be damned.

 

“Back already?” Ash looks up from where Eiji is sculpting boobs on him after he’d buried the rest of his body in sand. “What’s the matter, did she find out about the other women you’re dating at the same time?” He snickers.

“No, it’s not that.” Blanca sighs as he rubs the angry red handprint on his cheek. “She wanted me to buy a swimsuit she liked but when I saw the price, I told her I didn’t bring enough money with me and smacked me on the face before calling me a cheapskate and running off.”

“Serves you right,” Ash snickers as Eiji places a seashell on a sand boob. “If you want to be a player, you have to be ready financially. What is it you even do for a living, anyway? Do you work for the Puerto Rican mafia now or something?”

“It’s nothing like that,” he chuckles. “I’m an elementary school teacher now.”

“Seriously?!” Well that explains the children’s storybooks in his house. “What do you even teach them, how to shoot and take out an enemy from afar?”

“I told you before, I left that life behind already. I teach fourth grade Math.”

Ash never really saw Blanca as someone other than being a hermit sipping pina coladas from coconut shells in the Caribbean when he’s not out shooting people in the heads.

“Anyway, do you two want to go snorkeling?” Blanca pats the change in his pocket.

“Depends if you’re coming or not,” he grumbles. He can’t have this giant of a guy ruin the atmosphere of what could be a romantic swim underwater with Eiji.

“Don’t worry, I won’t interrupt your date.” He reaches into his pocket and hands Eiji some bills. “Here, go rent some snorkels and have fun. I’m going to get myself a few drinks.”

“Knock yourself out.”

Blanca gives them a little wave before going off to the nearest bar to drown his sorrows in alcohol.

Ash gets up, ruining the mermaid sand sculpture Eiji made out of the sand he buried him with.

“Hey, I put a lot of work into that,” Eiji grumbles as he looks at the crumbled remains of his hard work. He walks with Eiji to the snorkel shop and rent some snorkels for the both of them. After that, they pay someone with a motorboat to take them far out into the water before plunging into the water underneath.

What greets them underwater is nothing short of breath-taking. Ash almost has to remind himself to keep biting against the snorkel mouthpiece when he was just shy of parting his lips in awe.

His eyes follow the pattern the colorful little fishes trace against the water as the swim past him and Eiji before retreating into their homes inside the coral reefs. When Ash stands frozen awe as he takes in the beautiful view, Eiji takes his hand as he carves a path through the water and swim over the breath-taking display laid out beneath them.

They float past a group of angelfish that swim away when Eiji reaches out a hand to touch them. In the coral reef below, he can see a small octopus squeezing itself out of the little crevice it calls home. Eiji points at something in front of him and when Eiji follows the direction he’s pointing at, he sees a sea turtle swimming towards them. When the turtle gets close to them, he and Eiji give the little guy a friendly stroke on the shell before seeing it off.

As they continue swimming further to admire the view, he looks beside him and finds a view more beautiful than any ocean.   

When Eiji curls his lips into the gentlest of smiles, Ash briefly wonders how he got so lucky to have someone as him right by his side.

Eiji is beautiful.

When the blue underwater light dances off him, casting the features on his face in a blue, ethereal glow, Ash reaffirms the belief that angels are real and that Eiji Okumura is one of them.

He shuts his eyes in disbelief.

Maybe he’s only dreaming. Maybe if he opens his eyes again, he’ll see that the angel is gone and realize that nothing so beautiful can possibly by real but when he does, he sees that Eiji is right beside him, holding his hand tenderly as he soars through the water with unseen wings.

Ash never thought of himself as a religious person.

And yet, when he sees Eiji right there, shining brighter than the sun itself, it’s hard not to be.

Ash takes his snorkel off, leaving himself breathless as he should be before the presence of an angel. When he takes his face tenderly in his hands, he touches the light itself.

He presses his lips against the sun, expecting himself to burn but he doesn’t.

The sun only kisses him back.

 

“Hey there.” Ash turns to Blanca tapping his shoulder before taking a seat beside him on the sand. “Want a drink?” He offers Ash a can of beer.

It’s night now. After spending the entire day having fun, Ash is more than tuckered out to even need alcohol to put himself to sleep. Eiji, on the other hand, doesn’t even look the slightest bit tired as he takes pictures with his camera along the beach.

“No thanks,” he passes up the offer. “I’d get yelled at if someone found out that I so much as touched alcohol,” he chuckles as he watches said person crouching by the shore to take a picture of a small crab.

“More for me then.” Blanca shrugs and pops the lid of the can open before gulping the fizzy drink down. “You look happy.”

“Do I?” A smile finds its way on his face when Eiji chases after the crab he’s taking a picture of. Despite his constant mother-like nagging, Ash never forgets how cute he can be.

“You do.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Not at all,” Blanca chuckles before taking another sip from the can. “Happy is a good look on you.”

“You think so?”

He nods. “You’re a lot different from the boy I used to train all those years ago.”

“It’s not like you’re any different either,” Ash shrugs. “Different things change different people through time, so of course I’m not bound to be the same as I was.”

“Well, you’re right,” he smiles. “I’m guessing for you, it’s Eiji Okumura?”

“Yeah.” He feels a warmth stir in his chest. “Ever since I met him, everything has been all so different.”

“He taught me how to love, and showed me that there is more to this world than just suffering and that despite all the bad that there is, there is always bound to be some good in everything.” The look in his eyes grow fond as he watches Eiji walk along the shore with a smile on his face. It was hard to believe that it was just years ago when they first met.

“Even in me.”

“He really means a lot to you, doesn’t he?”

“I would die for him if I have to.” Eiji would die for him too. When Eiji took that bullet for him, Ash never would have thought himself capable of rage that intense when he emptied his cartridge on the men that shot Eiji.

“But thinking back on the things we went through together, I figured that just dying won’t cut it. I have to live for him too.”

He can’t help his chuckle when he remembers the day Eiji flew back to New York just to scold him for sleeping in the library after he got stabbed instead of calling 911 like people who get stabbed normally do.

“I’m glad you found someone that loves you, Ash.” Blanca smiles at him. “Seeing just how happy you are with him, I can’t help but feel bad for what I did and for all those things I said to you. I hope you can forgive me.”

“Geez, where is this coming from?” Ash huffs. “It’s not like you to be apologizing to me.”

“After working with Mr. Yue-lung, I realized just what the absence of love does to people.” In this moment, Ash thought that the look in in his eyes reflected his years.

“He kept saying about how similar the two of you were. Knowing his background, I found it hard to blame him for his bitterness. But where he had resentment in his heart, you had love. That’s what makes you different from him.”

“It was wrong of me to take you away from Eiji. Seeing just how happy you are, I realize that you’re most like yourself when you’re with him.”

“You’re right.” Ash smiles to himself as he traces Eiji’s name on the sand in his sloppy Japanese handwriting. "When I'm with him, it’s like taking back the years I never got to enjoy growing up.”

“Do you regret not enjoying those years?”

“It’s not like I had any choice in the matter,” he sighs. The moment his own father turn his back on him and accusing him, an eight-year-old boy for seducing his rapist after what happened to him, Ash saw how twisted the world could be.

“I was thrown into a world beyond my control by adults that cared for nothing more than making me a pet for their own amusement.”

“But…” He thinks of Eiji. He thinks of his smile, his weird food and his warmth.

“If you were to ask me if I’d live another life again, I would refuse, without a doubt. Even if all the pain and suffering I went through were to be erased, I wouldn’t choose another life over the one I have now.”

“All that happened to me led me right to where I am now. I didn’t only survive, but I  _lived._ ”

“They thought they could bring me down and yet I’m still here.” He feels his heart swell as a mix of both love and pride surges through him. “And it was all because I had someone who loves me. It was all worth it just if it meant having Eiji in my life.”

“Love really is something, don’t you think so?” Blanca smiles at him before emptying his can. “When you fall in love, all those songs and poems start to make sense and you’d take the stars and the moon in your hands if it meant making the person you love happy.”

“What a romantic,” Ash laughs and gives Blanca a slight slap to the back. “You still have such a way with words. No wonder ladies go for you. I almost feel sorry for them.”

“Ash!” Eiji calls out for him with his arm raised.

“Hey, that’s mean.” Blanca breathes out a dejected sigh and Ash only snickers at him while getting up and dusting the sand off his pants.

“Anyway.” Ash smiles at his mentor and gives him a pat on the shoulder before walking towards Eiji.

“I forgive you.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Still awake?” Ash strains his eyes to adjust to the brightness of the laptop Eiji has balanced on his lap. “It’s almost three in the morning. Old people need to get up early, right?” He yawns as he throws an arm around his middle and rests his head against his shoulder.

“And young people like you ought to respect your elders,” Eiji huffs as he curls his lips into that cute pout.

“So you admit you’re old then,  _onii-chan_?”

“Ash, I’m literally only two years older than you.”

“Whatever.” Eiji only rolls his eyes as Ash lets out a snicker. “By the way, what are you doing?”

“Just looking through some pictures.” Eiji scrolls through a folder in his laptop filled with landscape photos interspersed along nicely-composed shots of people. “I figured I needed to pick something for the photo exhibit back in Izumo next month.”

Ash hums in understanding as he watches Eiji scroll down the folder further and sees shots of the scenery in Izumo.

“Is that you? Why do you have a mullet?” Ash spots a picture of what looks to be a younger Eiji in sports uniform posing with other similarly-dressed kids. “Business in the front and party in the back, huh?”

“Ash, that’s not a mullet,” Eiji lets out a chuckle. “I just grew out my hair in that picture.”

“I think it looks cute on you.” His heart nearly can’t take it when Eiji blushes as he smiles at him faintly.

“Oh, so this is the one Ibe told me about.” Ash leans in to click a thumbnail and brings up a photo of a breath-taking shot of an angel caught flying on camera.

“About what?”

“Well, back when we were in New York, Ibe told me about showing that picture he took of you when you were pole-vaulting.”

“Well, what do you think?”

“It looks like you’re touching the sky.” When he looks at Eiji’s peaceful expression and the skyward gaze of his eyes, he can almost feel himself go weightless as he escapes the force of gravity with nothing but the sky above and below him.

 “Just like that day you vaulted over that wall with a rusty pipe,” he laughs. “That was the first time I ever saw someone fly.”

“But then I crashed and injured my arm,” Eiji chuckles. “Look, I still have the scar to show for it.” He rolls up his sleeve to show the reminder of that day on his arm.

“So much for a first meeting, don’t you think?” Ash laughs. “I don’t think we’ve ever gone more than a week in New York without running away from someone.”

“I know right,” Eiji sighs. “When I went to New York, I didn’t expect myself to live inside an action movie.”

“You know what, I’d like a print of that photo to put up in my room back home.”

“ _Our_ room,” he corrects him with a nudge to the rib. “Besides, why would you settle for just a photo when the real one is right here in beside you?” When Eiji winks at him, he feels his heart tear through his chest cavity and propel forward into space before crashing spectacularly against the earth’s surface.

“You’re right.” Ash gulps when Eiji presses a kiss against his cheek. “T-The real thing is definitely better.”

Eiji giggles.

“By the way Ash, do you remember when I took these?” Eiji scrolls down to some photos he took in New York. He almost feels flattered at how the photos with his face in it outnumber those that didn’t.

“Oh yeah, I do.” He looks at the photos fondly as he looks through their first summer together. “I remember that time when we took a dip in that lake in Cape Cod and got ice cream.”

“And when you climbed up that tree and fell down when the branch snapped,” Eiji bursts into laughter as if seeing him fall off that tree was the funniest thing he’d ever seen.

“It hurts just thinking about it.” Ash rubs at the phantom pain on his leg.

“And look, this one is you making breakfast with a towel on your head.”

“The eggs didn’t turn out right that morning,” Ash sighs. “It had some pieces of eggshell in it.”

“Well, at least it had some crunch to it.” Eiji giggles. “That was the first time you ever cooked something for me. Maybe you should help mom out in the kitchen when we get back home.”

“Why not?” He shrugs. “At least that way I get to decide whether I get natto in my food or not.”

“Sorry but if you live in the Okumura household, it’s a rule that you have to eat natto along with every meal.” Ash wrinkles his nose in disgust as if the thought of ever having to put natto in his mouth again would offend his delicate sensibilities of McDonald’s and high-fructose corn syrup-laden soda.

“Wait, what’s this one?” He places his hand over Eiji’s to stop him from scrolling down when he spots a picture of him sitting by the windowsill. “I don’t remember you taking this.”

“That’s because you were napping when I took this picture of you, dummy.” Eiji clicks on the thumbnail to bring the photo up. When he looks at himself in the picture, he looks oddly serene as the sun rose steadily behind him, casting his form in a soft orange glow.

“Beautiful, isn’t it? You look like an angel in this picture.”

“I should be the one saying that to you.” Ash curls his lips into a smile as he looks towards Eiji warmly. “Besides, you’re the one that can fly.”

“Do angels have to fly though?” He beams at him with a smile that would rival a thousand suns. “I think angels come in all forms. No matter what they look like, they always have the same purpose.”

“And that is?”

“It’s to be always with the person they’re looking after no matter what.”

“Then that would make me a very bad angel then,” Ash laughs self-depreciatingly. “I couldn’t be there by your side when you needed me the most.”

“When have you ever left me out of your own will, Ash?” Eiji closes the laptop shut and puts it away on the nightstand. When he takes his hand tenderly in his, his warmth seeps through his skin and sinks into his bones. “Everything you did, you never did for your own sake.”

“Don’t you think that in itself makes you an angel?”

“I…I don’t really know,” Ash purses his lips tightly. The guilt that always ate at him never quite left him. “I’ve put you through so much danger and dragged you into my problems. What kind of guardian angel does that?”

“I’d go through anything just if it means being with you.” In times like this, Ash sees the quiet strength that burns gently in Eiji’s eyes and sees just how much beauty his soul held. 

“I love you and you love me.” He threads his fingers tightly against his. Someday, he’s going to put a ring on one of those. “Does anything else really matter?”

“You’re free. We can do whatever we want and no one is going to stop us.”

“I guess if you put it that way, you’re right.” Ash chuckles as he wipes at the tears that glaze over his eyes. “But you know what, you’re my guardian angel too.”

For as long as he knew, Ash always used to think that everything in this world is not permanent, that things will come and go and people would leave just as soon as they came into your life and yet whenever Eiji looks at him tenderly, his eyes brought with them the promise of forever.

“Before I met you, I was in a dark place. Ever since bad things happened to me, I never allowed myself to hope but when I met you, Eiji, everything has never been so different. You took me away from that dark place and brought me back into the light.”

He brings his arms gently around him and presses himself against Eiji’s warmth as he breathes in the scent of home. 

“You saved me, Eiji.”

Eiji was his salvation—he took him out of the hell others thrust him into before he could become a demon himself. In that moment, it was as if God himself finally heard his prayers and sent him his chance at redemption.

“You’ve lived a difficult life,” Eiji says soothingly as he runs his fingers softly through his hair. “But you’re here now.” He brushes his fringe away to press a kiss against his forehead. Ash always loved it when Eiji did that.

“With me.” When he looks at the warmth in his eyes, he wants nothing more than to drown in them and never come back up.

“Forever.”

Ash leans in the space between them and tastes love. Embraces him and holds hope in his arms.

Eiji made him to dream again. Before meeting him, he never dared to allow himself to hope out of the fear that to do so in such a world would be pointless. Every decision he made meant the difference between dying today and living to see another day. Before Eiji came into his life, he never feared death.

And yet right now, with the love and light of his life right in his arms, Ash has never wanted to live more than he already has. Back then, he never allowed himself to see far into his future. Ever since the world took what little he had, he never expected himself to live long enough to see his life through like people normally did.

But things are different now. He imagines himself on his knees proposing to Eiji and getting married. Then, they would adopt a child and start a family together and spoil their grandchildren rotten when they’d grow old and wrinkled together. Eiji would bicker about where he put his dentures only for Ash to point out that they’re in his mouth all along. Then, when the time comes when either of them has to leave this world, it would be spent in each other’s presence, looking back fondly on the life they lived together.

It was crazy, how something as falling in love and growing old with someone seemed like such a distant dream to him and yet now, with Eiji by his side, the world has never looked any brighter.

From the distance, the waves crash loudly against the shore.

After so long, Ash allows himself to believe in forever—to believe in the certainty that the sun will always rise in the morning and to believe in the love he held tightly in his arms.

 

“Eiji.”

**Author's Note:**

> scream at me personally on my twitter [@chattoyant_zee](http://twitter.com/chattoyant_zee)


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